Infertility…

A Most Painful Day

       Thinking back on the years when I desperately wanted to have a baby it was one of the worst times of my life.  Every month I had a reminder of what could not be without a divine miracle- which God didn’t seem willing to do.  But the most painful day of the year was Mother’s Day.  I’m telling you this because I want you to know that we should be praying for those who desire children and cannot conceive for whatever reason.  So here’s some advice from someone who’s been there:

       We should never assume someone is too selfish to have kids because we never know what is behind their choice or with what they’re struggling.  I know a couple who have strong health issues coming down the line that have chosen not to pass along the issues.  It is still difficult on them.

       We should never ask a lady if she’s pregnant.  A belly may not indicate a baby and we might insult her or hurt her if she desires a baby but can’t conceive.  Perhaps ask if she might like a baby some day and maybe she will say if she’s pregnant.

       We should NEVER make foolish Christianese comments or platitudes such as below for  “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ep. 4:29)  Yes, I heard many if not all of these- some on Mother’s Day.

-Maybe you have sin in your life.

   (Don’t we all, yet most bear children…)

-I won’t support you if you go for artificial insemination or a donor.

   (Thanks, I needed a knife in my back right now!)

-Maybe you wouldn’t be a good parent.

   (As opposed to the pedophiles and abusers who become parents?)

-You need to have more faith.

   (Why don’t you have the faith for me like the men putting their friend through the roof? 

   Lk. 5:20)

-You need to pray more.

   (Perhaps say I’ll pray for you and then do it often.)

-Maybe it’s not God’s will for you.

   (Only makes me ask: What did I do wrong?)

-Don’t give up hope.

   (Really, it’s that easy after years is it?  What have you waited for this long?)

-You should just relax/ adopt because lots of people get pregnant after.   

  (Relaxing and adopting won’t cause miracles- only God can do that.)

-What’s wrong with you?

   (Not really your business. Besides, it just might be husbands problem…)

-You should go here (insert place) because everyone that goes there gets pregnant. 

   (see above.)

-You can have my kids.

   (Okay, lets get the legal papers signed… oh, you didn’t mean it?)

-Kids are just trouble anyway/ You are so lucky, you can just take off when you want!

   (Wow, that makes me feel better that you have kids and I can’t!)

-I understand.

   (Not unless you’ve been through it…)

-Aren’t you glad you don’t have kids?

   (Yep, that’s why there is a constant ache in me, I cry so much and watching parents with kids is so painful.)

“Therefore comfort one another, and edify one another, even as you also do.” (1Th. 5:11)  Okay, enough with the wrong things to say, here are some of the things you could choose to say instead:

-It must be really tough going through this, would you like to talk/ have coffee…

   (Don’t advise-unless asked, just LISTEN. This is most important, imo.)

“For all the Law is fulfilled in one word, even in this, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Gl. 5:14)  “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gl. 6:2) old NIV (verb tense- keep on carrying)

-I am going to pray for you as often as I can.  Would you like to have me pray for anything specific?

-I will stand by you no matter what you decide.

   (Let their decision be between them and God.)

-Life is tough.  Is there anything I can help you with?

   (Don’t ask if you won’t follow through though.)

-Pray in general for infertile couples especially on Mother’s/ Father’s Day, for strength and peace.

Lord, help all those struggling on Mother's Day: those who desperately want to be mothers, those whose children are struggling with mental or physical issues, those whose children can't be with them, those having difficulties with their teens, and all those having a hard time.  Let Your wisdom, peace and love flood through them today.

Circles of Trust

       Truth be told, I am not a very trusting person because I’ve seen too many people reveal things that should never be revealed.  From experience, I see most people maintain circles of trust around themselves.  There are few we fully trust- that we allow to be very close, others we can trust with some parts of ourselves, yet trust different parts of us to different people- they are variable distances away in the circles.  Then there are many we keep at acquaintance level due to substantial lack of trust.  We usually judge these levels based on experiences with the person over time.

       A friend once told me she doesn’t know how she will ever trust those who split from her church if they ever came back, to work with them again.  My thought is: you can work with a person quite well without trusting them.  Do we trust a person just because they are a Christian?  Quite frankly, I don’t see anyplace in the Bible that it says to trust any man.  (Also, it says not to trust in: Egypt- a type of the world- idols, lying words or riches.)

Do not put your trust in princes, nor in the son of man in whom there is no salvation. Ps. 146:3

Everyone beware of his neighbor, and do not trust any brother!... Jr. 9:4

Put no trust in a friend… Mc. 7:5

But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, so that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; 2Cr. 1:9 (not even ourselves!)

It does say many times to trust God.

It is better to trust in Jehovah than to trust in man. It is better to trust in Jehovah than to trust in princes. Ps. 118:8,9

Jehovah is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him. Nh. 1:7

The God who is my Rock, in Him will I trust…. 2Sm. 22:3

The righteous shall be glad in Jehovah, and shall trust in Him… Ps. 64:10

Who among you fears Jehovah … Let him trust in the name of Jehovah and rest on his God. Is. 50:10

And  many  more times than these…

       This does not mean we shouldn’t have any trust at all, but we must be aware that man will fail us (yes we fail ourselves too) because we are all human and therefore not perfect.  Only God will never fail us because He is perfect and His Word never fails (Is. 55:11).  So, don’t completely trust man or even self, but DO completely trust God.

       My biggest point in this is that we are not to completely trust that everything people- even our favorite authors, bloggers, pastors- say is from the Scriptures or that is doctrine, or right or wrong.  I don’t care if they are biggest name in evangelism, the greatest Christian author, or the pastor we’ve agreed with for the past 50 years- we are to know the Word ourselves and study, check up on what we hear to make sure it’s accurate to the Bible.  Men can fail to remain in sound doctrine.

And the brothers immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea. They, when they arrived, went into the synagogue of the Jews. And these were more noble than those of Thessalonica, in that they received the Word with all readiness of mind and searched the Scriptures daily to see if those things were so. Ac. 17:10,11

       These Bereans were being praised for checking everything Paul and Silas said.  They didn’t just believe it all, but they searched daily to see if it is true.  So we can’t let any man say we should just trust them or accept what they say the Scriptures mean.  We must read them for ourselves.  We must heed the Spirit who helps us understand them.  We must study and meditate on the Word- for in these final days deception is increasing and many are being caught up in false thinking and doctrines.

 Here are some things that are falsely mixing these days:

Christianity and Islam- Chrislam (not the same God!)

Christianity and occultism- esp and such are gifts from God (No they are not!)

Christianity and new age- contemplative prayer, mysticism, divine centers, etc

There are many more but some stats say about 68% of Christians accept some of these and other false beliefs in within their own Christian beliefs.

Let us all take care and search the Scriptures daily for the Truth, God's Truth!

Do You Ever Hate Yourself?

       Right now I do.  Ten minutes ago I realized I missed meeting up with one of my newer friends.  We haven’t been able to see each other for a few months due to her work and I go and miss the first opportunity to see her.  And I really wanted to spend time with her.  I’d be easier to type this if I could stop crying.  (Yep, I cry pretty easily.)  Her forgiveness won’t make it any easier to face her again.  In fact, I dread the next conversation…

       It’s not that I really hate myself, but my failings.  I forget things, especially short term memory things.  Last week I forgot to pick up my son from his bus stop after school- I’ve only been doing it for four years.  The scary part is he didn’t even cross my mind.  So today I forgot my much anticipated coffee date with my friend that we just arranged yesterday!  Why, oh why, oh why does it have to be this way?

       In case you wonder, I’ve been to the doctor and even a specialist, and they can’t find anything wrong.  That actually makes this worse because there seems to be no reason.  It just makes me feel stupid.  Overall, not a good place to be.  That’s why I’m keeping this short and giving out some Scriptures that hold me together at times like this:

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, He comforting us in all our trouble… 2Cr. 1:3,4

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Ps. 34:18

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned; nor shall the flame kindle on you. Is. 43:2

My soul, be silent only to God; for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my strong tower; I shall not be shaken. In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength; my hiding-place is in God. Ps. 62:5-7

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Rv. 21:4 KJV (I hope earthly embarrassments also pass away…)

One prayer: Lord, use ALL my failings however You can for Your glory

It’s been a long wait…

Bought My New Camera

My old Nikon- held together by an elastic

       It’s been a few years that my old 4 MP Nikon (from 2002) has been struggling with issues.  I knew it needed to be replaced but wanted particular features that were not yet available in digital point and shoot.  I decided then to start saving for a new camera.  Then in 2012 the Nikon Coolpix 510 was released.  All money given to me for birthdays, other events, dividend checks and Christmas was put in our savings in anticipation of the buy.  Later that year, Canon came out with the Powershot S50x.

Did I mind going without bigger gifts for a few years?  No.  With my eye on the prize of a new camera, all was good!

       Since then I have vacillated between the two cameras for their features, sure of this one then that one.  Eventually a couple other long zooms came out making it worse.  I had enough money, but which would I choose?  Well, the Nikon Coolpix P600 60x zoom was just released- sports and macro mode included.  With enough money I went in and made the purchase this morning.

       Wanting to understand the camera so I can utilize all its features and take high quality photos, I began to pour over the manual I had to download- over 200 pages worth.  I did skip parts that flew right over my head, began to understand some technical terms that I never have before, and am practicing other techniques one at a time as I learn more in review of the manual.  It got a little frustrating a few times, and I had to search out information to help me understand some of the terminology and ideas, but overall, the manual seems quite complete.

       Many have said the Bible is a manual for living life.  I believe it to be true for the more we live as the Bible says we should, the more we live life abundantly (Jh. 10:10).  I’ve been reading (not always faithfully) that manual for years and am still working on understanding parts of it. 

       It used to get frustrating when I didn’t understand parts, but now I’m okay waiting for the Lord to reveal those parts to me.  There are parts I still tend to ignore like the long lists of names and numbers.  And as with the camera, I find that when I put into practice the things I learn in it, those things seem to stick in my mind and heart better.  Sometimes I need other resources (like dictionaries) to help me understand the Bible.

       My son once asked me why I read and studied the Bible so often.  I said because I enjoy it and it contains the Word of Life.  Maybe this wasn’t always true of my reading, but it sure is now.  I cannot fathom a world without my Bible for in Its words God is revealed by His Spirit.  Thank God for the greatest Life manual of all time!

For the Word of God is living and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword… Hb. 4:12

…for the Spirit searches all things, yea, the deep things of God. 1Cr. 2:10

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, concerning the Word of Life, 1Jh. 1:1

Therefore putting aside all filthiness and overflowing of evil, receive in meekness the implanted Word, which is able to save your souls. Jm. 1:21

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Jh. 1:1

that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection… Php. 3:10

but let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me,… Jr. 9:24

Here's some of the pics I took today- remember, I'm an amateur!

Scary…

       Last year the Lord asked me to stretch myself much farther than I’d ever done before.  I was to go speak a word from the Lord to the pastors at my church.  Usually if He wants to say something to someone through me He tells me beforehand and I write it down or at least generally know what He wants to say.  This time I had nothing.  Not a word.  Scary…

       It stayed scary right up until I left the house that morning.  Then the Spirit filled me and His peace settled in.  I gave the word to the available pastors, taping it for the rest.  At the end the pastors said, “We receive that word,” and I thought, awesome.  As I was driving away the Lord asked if it was necessary for them to receive the word or if it just mattered that I did what He wanted me to no matter the outcome.  It was then He quickly reminded me of all the words given by God’s servants of old that were rejected, ignored, not accepted, not heeded, and yet they chose to obey God.

       No, I’m not saying I’m some great servant of God, but I am saying that it was my obedience even in the midst of doubt and some fear that pleased Him.  Obedience needed to be my focus, not concern for the outcome- what the pastors thought.  Whether or not they received it was between God and them (but was still a little scary for me).

For our exhortation to you was not of error, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile, but as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God, who tries our hearts. For neither at any time did we use flattering words, as you know, nor with pretense of covetousness; God is witness. Nor did we seek glory from men… 1Th. 2:3-6

For now do I persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Gl. 1:10

       As I was reading these verses a few thing popped out to me.  The apostles (servants of God too) exhorted without deceit or delusion, nor in impure or immoral state, nor trying to trick or deceive.  What they spoke was not to please men but God who knows even the intentions of our hearts.  They didn’t flatter the listeners to achieve more disciples, more status, a bigger following or under a hidden desire to gain more money.  They didn’t try to raise their reputation or other’s opinions of them.  In other words, they tried to please God and not man.

       It shouldn’t concern us what man thinks of what we say and do, but we should very much care what God thinks of what we say and do.  He is the Judge.  He is the one who decides where our eternity will be.  He knows every little thing about us even why we do what we do.

That should be a little scary to us!

A Most Horrifying Thought

       When I was a teen (the earliest years I remember) the most horrifying thought to me would have been to never have children.  Later, after watching a movie about fires, I though the most horrifying thing would be to burn to death, especially if you knew it was coming and there was no escape.  As an adult before marriage it was that I would die without knowing what it would be like to be with a man intimately.  After we adopted our daughter it was always related to her health or possibility of her death.  Why do we ever think such awful thoughts?

        Today, thanks to my pastor, a new most horrifying thought was presented.  What if every Bible everywhere instantly disappeared…  I don’t remember the rest of what he said because that first part alone freaked me out.  Yes I read it, study it, meditate on it, but years ago I stopped trying to memorize it because nothing stuck.  Even if I worked on one verse for over a month…  Short term memory issues…

       So to think I would lose that connection to God- through His Word- just horrifies me.  Perhaps He would heal my mind so I could remember.  Perhaps He’d pop passages into my mind when I need them (which He sometimes does).  Perhaps I’d just have to live with what I remember right now which is precious little imo.  Oh Lord, please don’t EVER let that all the Bibles disappear unless I’m home with You first!

The grass withers, the flower fades; but the Word of our God shall stand forever. Is. 40:8

Forever, O Jehovah, Your Word is settled in the heavens. Ps. 119:89

The heaven and the earth shall pass away, but My Words shall not pass away. Lk. 21:33

For truly I say to you, Till the heaven and the earth pass away, not one jot or one tittle shall in any way pass from the Law until all is fulfilled. Mt. 5:18

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Jh. 1:1

having been born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, through the living Word of God, and abiding forever. 1Pt. 1:23

I guess as long as God still exists, so does His Word.

Praise the Lord!!!