It also broke the fragile trust I have in him in a particular area. So, as I was driving home, all I could think about was my feelings, how painful it was, how much he hurt me, how could he do this if he loved me, didn’t he care? Still dwelling on these thoughts about 15 min. later while driving home I heard my own inner voice that was like a sword in my gut, “Isn’t this how you’ve treated God so many times over the years? You’ve probably broken His heart more than once doing things He despised. You’ve hurt Him over choices to not obey or trust Him in your times of deepest need.”
That remembrance caused the tears to flow as I thought of my own despicableness: all the times I never considered God’s feelings, or how much I was hurting Him by shoving Him out of my life when He didn’t do things the way I wanted. Yet He never gave up on me. He never shut me out; instead He patiently waited for me wooing my selfish heart back to Him. Oh, why does He love me so much?
So, while my son broke my heart, I guess it can’t compare to the amount of times I may have broken the Father’s heart. Hopefully my son will learn from this experience and make some changes, just as I intend to change and be more concerned about my Father’s heart. One day I will see Him face to face (Rev. 22:4) and I hope one of the things He says is, “Thank you Vicky for loving me so much.”
shall be able to separate us from the love of God,
which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
*God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands; Neither is worshipped with men's hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things; Acts ,25