and the One who walks with me on it.

Saturday, December 06, 2014

Is it pouring yet?

       It’s been a bad physically painful week for me in which I was unable to do much of anything.  My son (barely a legal adult) moved into an apartment downtown with his half brother on Monday because he was/ is making very poor choices.  My Mom started calling me at 6:30ish on Friday morning uncertain if she should go to a clinic, the hospital, or just wait it out at home because she had symptoms which were concerning but didn’t seem critical.  I suggested she try for an appointment at 8am when her doctor’s office was open.  Eventually she gets through but her doctor wasn’t available.  I suggested a clinic that has an ecg machine in case.

       On the way to pick her up I heard that gift cards can be exchanged for money at those ‘cash your cheques for fee’ places, but you get only half the worth of the card.  This means there is no way to guarantee the person you give the card too won’t cash it out and spend the money on addictions.  I got angry at man’s greed when I heard a news flash about a house explosion late Thursday on the same block my boys live on.  Ummm…  After I parked at Mom’s I called hubby to call the boys and make sure they were okay- which they were though they slept elsewhere for the night (due to concerns).

       (Signed in at 9:30am-ish.) We spent three hours at the clinic before Mom even saw a doctor, at which point she got a brief check of lungs and heart before she was told to go get a chest x-ray.  The doc said water was shown in her lungs and put her on the ecg.  Not long after she was put on oxygen to calm her heart as it was beating irregularly and fast (120 to 170).  They called the ambulance to pick her up around 1:20pm.  At the hospital, they strapped her to various machines and an intern came in asking questions, but we didn’t see a doctor until after 5pm when he ordered another chest x-ray.

       Then after 8pm the doctor finally spoke to us using the term atrial fibrillation- the top of the heart was in fibrillation causing the bottom of the heart to get mixed signals therefore beating irregularly and fast.  He left after that.  Mom was in good temperament except for being really hungry as neither of us had eaten all day and the hospital wouldn’t allow her to eat or drink.

       They decided not to shock the heart back into normal rhythm but to administer some drugs to calm it down, other drugs to get the water in her lungs out and to admit her until further tests could be done.  She got a room by 9:30pm and was settled in by 10pm- all in all, a long day for us.  My sister had arrived by 8:30 from out of town so I was able to be relieved after Mom was settled in.  We didn’t see another doctor until today at 4pm-ish, who explained more, finally mentioning congestive heart failure*.  Scary words… I guess we will live at the hospital for a few days.

       But God is good and able to strengthen us in times like these.  We actually laughed a lot in the hospital- Mom, three daughters and neighbour patient.  Mom was able to speak face to face over the phone with distant family which is so cool.  Later tonight, a cute male nurse came in giving the two patients something to look forward to!  We’re not sure how long she’ll be in the hospital, but at least until the tests on Monday (if they have time) and when her heart is better in control.
       Scary times, scary troubles, and scary words but none of this is scaring me because I walk with the One who brings peace to my heart and soul.  He is always with me, He’ll take care of Mom and only He knows her length of days and state of heart--- and He won’t ever stop working in her life, or mine.  It might be raining or even pouring, but my Lord and Savior is with us.  “My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart, and my part forever.(Ps. 73:26)  I can’t ask for more except that God would not allow Mom to leave this flesh until she is His.

       Life never gets easier but it will surely get better for those who love and serve Jehovah God and Jesus Christ His Son.  One day we will see Him face to face (Rv. 22:3,4) in new immortal bodies (Php. 3:21; 1Cr. 5:42-44) in a place where sin, sickness and corruption will never be, and no one will ever suffer or die ever again (Rv. 20:14; 21:4,27).  There we will live in peace and joy with our Savior and King forever.  What an awesome hope we have…

Is it pouring yet?
   Yes, it is pouring God’s love out into our lives if we will only open up our arms to receive it.

*Congestive heart failure occurs when the heart isn't able to pump blood normally. As a result, there is not enough blood flow to provide the body's organs with oxygen and nutrients. The term "heart failure" does not mean that the heart stops beating completely, but that the heart is not working as efficiently.
-systolic dysfunction occurs when the heart can't pump enough blood to supply all the body's needs
-diastolic dysfunction occurs when the heart cannot accept all the blood being sent to it

Wednesday, December 03, 2014


       My heart is broken as it lies in my Father’s hands.  Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs we will ever do.  Many children break their parent’s hearts at one time or another and I guess it is my turn- again.  It is painful to have to make tough decisions that force an adult child to confront reality.  It hurts to be accused of things that are untrue and blamed for things that aren’t your fault.  It is agonizing to watch a child go down a treacherous path headed for pain and destruction all while shutting you out.

Go in through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many there are who go in through it. Mt. 7:13
(For many are walking, of whom I have told you often and now tell you even weeping, as the enemies of the cross of Christ; whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, those who mind earthly things.) Php. 3:18,19

       The way seems easy, the path seems the way to freedom, but it is the path of slavery and unfortunately one in which we, as parents, have no control.  Often, our children do not listen to us, believing that our knowledge is no longer relevant to their lives- thus opening themselves up to slavery of the world, being caught up in its lusts and desires.  They want full control over their lives yet don’t realize they are submitting that same control to the enemy that wants to destroy them.

The thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy... Jh. 10:10
Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him, because all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever. 1Jh. 2:15-17

       So I stand on the sidelines watching my child continue to make poor, life altering choices, hearing the accusations, shrugging off the blame, while I trust my kids are in God’s hands, and pray, pray, pray, repeat.  When it hurts I fall into the arms of grace of my God knowing He is with me.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned; nor shall the flame kindle on you.” (Is. 43:2)  His promises will never fail (Ps. 89:34).

       Lord, I am very sorry for all the accusations I levied at You over the years, the feelings that You weren’t after my good, the blame that all the bad in my life was Your fault and most of all for shutting You out.  Thank You for being patient with me and sticking around.  Thank You for helping me understand that by keeping full control of my own life I was submitting myself to the control of the enemy and going into his slavery.  Thank You very much for the true freedom I have in You when I yoke myself with You.  I’m sorry for all the wrong that I’ve done as Your child.  Please forgive me.

I have set Jehovah always before Me; because He is at My right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore My heart is glad, and My glory rejoices; My flesh also shall rest in hope; Ps. 16:8,9

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Can’t Believe It’s December

       Time doesn’t go any slower- it just seems to keep speeding up.  I imagine life will get easier but it doesn’t.  I think issues will recover but they don’t seem to.  I hope money shortages will improve but they don’t.  I guess I’ll have more time but that never seems to happen.  Funny thing is, most everyone I know says the same thing.  And it feels like yesterday was just May, but it’s already December.  How did that happen?  When on earth am I going to find time to clean so I can decorate…

       While I thing I would have enjoyed the slower pace of the 1800’s there are some things I would hate- outdoor washrooms, fire heat, womanly duties like washing by hand, cleaning and especially cooking, no telephones, no skype to see loved ones- only snail mail…  God knew what He was doing when He dropped me into this generation in one of the best countries- Canada.

In these days where it seems to always be a shortage of time, here are some interesting Scriptures:

But I will establish my covenant with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this time next year." Gn. 17:21
       It’s not our timing but God’s and believe it or not, His timing is perfect.  Our desires are always when we want it, which is usually NOW.  I’m sure God spares us much grief by making us wait.

And the Angel of Jehovah called to Abraham out of the heavens the second time, Gn. 22:15
       When God wants to, He can keep calling us, especially when we miss His voice the first time.  If He wants us to do something for Him, He’ll repeat His will and give us another shot.

At that time Jehovah said to Joshua, Make sharp knives for yourselves and circumcise the sons of Israel again, the second time. Js. 5:2
       Just in to the Promised Land, Joshua knew war was ahead yet God put the soldiers out of commission for a few days.  It was time for the renewal of their covenant as God’s people.  We also need to renew ourselves with God daily, circumcising our hearts because we love Him.

And he waited seven days, according to the set time with Samuel. But Samuel did not come to Gilgal. And the people were scattered from him. 1Sm. 13:8
       Saul was not happy he was kept waiting, but janitor or king, no one can change God’s timetable unless He wants to change it.  When all the questions of why come up, we usually just need to wait on God.  There’s a reason He’s delaying and like every good Father, we don’t always need to know why.

And who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for a time like this? Es. 4:14
       Esther saved her people because God arranged that position for her.  Maybe it didn’t look good to her, or perhaps she didn’t want to put herself out there, but in the end she did and she saved her people, the Jews.

To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heavens: Ec. 3:1
       There is a time for everything…

We looked for peace, but no good came; and for a time of health, but behold, trouble! Jr. 8:15
       We may look forward to a time of peace and health, but for many right now, that future lays in God’s eternity which He is preparing for us.  In other words, life is tough and God doesn’t always choose to bring peace and health in our lives right now.

...Behold, now is the accepted time. Behold, now is the day of salvation.) 2Cr. 6:2
       Now is the time for salvation.  None of us know when we shall die.  It could be two seconds from now or in decades.  So, be prepared.  Be ready.  Now is the day.  Not tomorrow, but now.  There is a glorious future for those who are His children.  Not so for the world.  Be His today and don’t wait any longer.  I want you all to be in Heaven one day full of His peace and joy.