So… yesterday was tough

       But I made it through okay, and actually slept quite peacefully.  Of course, it was all the Lord’s doing, but I can’t imagine trying to get through all the difficulties of this life without Him.  He was right there with me in my pain.  When I awoke, He was still with me and the emotional healing was tangible.  Oh, how good He is.  This song was all I could sing in the morning; One Thing Remains:

Higher than the mountains that I face

Stronger than the power of the grave

Constant in the trial and the change

Cause this one thing remains

On and on and on and on it goes

It overwhelms and satisfies my soul

And I'll never, ever, have to be afraid

Cause this one thing, it remains

This one thing, it remains

Your love never fails

It never gives up

It never runs out on me

In death and in life I'm confident and covered by

The power of Your great love

My debt is paid, there's nothing that can separate

My heart from Your great love

In the difficult times of life it is good to already be grounded with Scriptures such as these, but also to reread them as we struggle, to remind us of God’s great love for us:

…Behold what manner of love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God. 1Jh. 3:1

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1Cr. 13:7 ESV

Love never fails… 1Cr. 13:8 ISV

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear… 1Jh. 4:18

…that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge… Ep. 3:17-19 ESV

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?... For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom. 8:35, 38,39

How precious is your gracious love, God! The children of men take refuge in the shadow of your wings. Ps. 36:7 ISV

Thank You Lord for protecting me yesterday in the shadow of your wings!

5 Hours of Distress

       This will not be one of my better posts Scripture wise, and I’m not even sure where it’s going, but it will be honest…

       As a teen I had one very best girlfriend.  Don’t know why we loved each other so much because in a lot of ways, we were so different, but my feelings are deep for her and most of her family that became mine.  For many years after marriage my BFF and I were separated for various reasons, but we now have the opportunity to hang out again.  Tonight I spent some great hours with her only to also be thrown into a lot of emotional, painful history, regrets and distress.  Then she hit me with a bombshell- well actually, she started to say something and knowing what she was about to say, I stopped her and had to walk away.

       My eyes were so blurred with tears I could barely see, my head was aching, my heart pounding, and anger flowed back and forth in my soul.  Struggling to breathe, I got as far as I could from her hearing and fell apart; shoulders shaking, tears flowing, choked sobs and finally the anger released in deep growls.  I wanted to stab something, maybe even someone.  Eventually I returned in more control but my emotions have been on edge ever since.

       Since being home for a couple hours, I have consumed one bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream, one mars bar, one chocolate pudding, many chocolate chips, some black licorice, three caramel rice cakes, a few spoonfuls of chocolate icing and one ibuprofen.  Though calmer right now (chocolate does that for me) I feel emotionally worn out, tired, sad, and still experience small bits of anger.  I wish the anger could be aimed at the responsible person, but it is also aimed at me for not seeing the things I should have seen or known.

       So, where do I go from here?  I need to forgive again.  That will be difficult but I am reminding myself of the Amish at Nickel Mines and how they forgave because God forgave them (Ep. 4:32).  God forgave (and forgives) me for all MY wickedness, so what right do I have to hold on to unforgiveness?  My mind and emotions continue to whirl and churn through it all, but the thing I want to do most of all is curl up in bed under my fuzzy blanket in my PJs with some soft music playing, my fav. Bible close, and my very BFF of all, my Lord right there beside me.

Why?

He is despised and rejected of men; a Man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief…

Is. 53:3

The Lord knows and understands what I am going through right now.  He won’t abandon or berate me for any of it, but will comfort me with His love.  This is not my hope; this is my assurance!  Now I go to be with Him…

Lord, help me to forgive.  Help me find peace.  Hear my cry and know my heart for all those involved, and move in every life.  Thank You for being with me in this difficult time.  I love You more than life!

What We Think About

(some things bear repeating…)

       If we could count how many things we think about each day, would it amount to hundreds or thousands?  I’m not sure, but I do know the list of things we do not think about far exceeds those things we do think about.  For instance, I don’t often think about sewers, or light bulbs, or shelves, or carpets, or seesaws, or sailboats, and on and on.

       So, why don’t I think about these many things?  It is because they are not important to my life most of the time.  Yes, on rare occasions they come to mind, but for the most part they are trivial and not worth my attention.  On the contrary, people (most especially my relationships), finances, household issues, and schools etc. are frequently on my mind.  It is because I consider them important to me that I think of them most often.

       This logic is critical in realizing how important we are to God.  He WANTS to be part of our lives, and it shows in His thoughts of us.  David understood this, and so should we.

How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly!  I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn towards me.  And when I waken in the morning, you are still thinking of me!  (Ps. 139:17,18 TLB)

       You and I are just as important to the Lord as David was for God is no respecter of persons (Ac. 10:34).  He loves us so much that we are constantly on His mind!  ‘Constantly’ means He has a LOT of thoughts about us.  Now consider how often He thinks of each of us multiplied by the amount of people He thinks of.  I can’t even imagine how He is able to do it, I only know He is God and able to exceed all our expectations.

       ‘If I should count them, they are more than the sand;’ is the literal translation of verse 18a.  I wouldn’t want to attempt to count sand (would anyone?), yet David says the Lord thinks of Him that often.  So, just by the amount of times the Lord thinks of us in a day, we can logically assume He considers us important to Him.  And if that isn’t enough, the Lord continues His thinking of us even while we are sleeping.  Wow, the God of all creation, the universe and us, is thinking about us… constantly.  What love He must have for us! 

I Wish...

This will be short because it's late and I don't want to miss another day of posting, so here is what I wish:

   -I wish we all could know God for who He is- personally- because the more I know Him, the more I love Him and (I believe) anyone who knows Him would feel the same.

   -I wish we all could know the peace and joy that remain when He dwells with and in us, even when great difficulties or tragedies arise.

   -I wish we all can feel the excitement of each new day with the Lord and hear Him speak in our lives.

   -I wish we all could spend an eternity with Him where sickness, sin and death are never seen again.

    -I wish we all would know and feel God's great love for us.

Lord, open the doors for me to share Your love and I will walk through them!