Genuine Repentance

       “I’m sorry,” he said for what seemed like the millionth time.  There were the tears I’d come to expect and the typical flowers in hand.  He had been caught with another woman once again.  You wouldn’t think it’d be that hard remaining faithful for a few years at least, but it seemed he couldn’t do it.  Once again he begged for my forgiveness.  Oh, I will forgive him once more, but the trust, and our intimacy has been ruined.

       His words “I’m sorry” stopped meaning anything since they were not sincere, made obvious by the fact he did not change.  “Don’t take him back” my friends cried, “He’ll just do it again.”  But this time…  maybe…  I want to believe its true, but the truth is, I’ll only know when enough time has elapsed and he remains faithful.  Maybe then the pain will recede and trust and intimacy can be rebuilt.  Maybe then I’ll see that he genuinely loves me.

*     *     *     *     *

        Though this story isn’t true at all in my marriage, it is true for all of us in our relationship with the Lord- come on, admit it.  We are all unfaithful, committing adultery with various idols in our lives (money, self) and never really turning from our sin.  Ah, but I tried and it didn’t work, you say.  As the wise Yoda once said, “Do or do not.  There is no try.”  See, we often say we’re sorry and leave it at that expecting God’s forgiveness.  But ‘sorry’ becomes empty words when it isn’t followed by change.

       In the book, “The Five Love Languages of Apology” there are steps to follow in any apology that work just as well for practical repentance of sins. 

Express regret  (I’m sorry Lord) 2Cor. 7:10; Ps. 51:17

Accept responsibility  (I was wrong to…) no ‘buts’ allowed Ps. 51:3,4

Make Restitution  (What can I do…) Ps. 51:13

Genuine repentance:  “to turn around/ change one’s mind” or choose to change own behavior.

     -express intent to change (example: I will stop looking at

          pornography)

     -develop a plan to implement change (I will not go online and will

          throw out all my porn books)

     -implement the plan (stop going online and throw out inappropriate

          books)

Request forgiveness  (Forgive me Lord) Ps. 51:9-14

       It is too easy to excuse our continuing sin on our inability to change or our human nature.  We have been made new (2Cor. 5:17) and one of the ways we show that is by leading a life of repentance or turning from sin.  Eph. 4:22 says, “That ye put off (put away/ cast off) concerning the former conversation (behaviour) the old man…”  So we must literally take action to do all we can to stay away from sin.  Imagine how hurt the Lord is over our continuing unfaithfulness.  Let each and every one of us give effort to true repentance.