It’s Sunday morning and I’m running on a lack of sleep- totally my fault of course. It was busy yesterday, a festival in the morning out in the county and a different one later in the evening locally. Lots of candy, lack of healthy food, a lot of walking, and opportunities to visit with some people I haven’t seen for a while. It was a good day, but I’m paying for it today. A slightly upset stomach (all that sugar, not too good) and unable to go to sleep (did I mention the sugar?) But it’s all good. It really is.
When I contemplate at what time I started liking life again, actually enjoying it, it has just been the past couple of years. I’m almost afraid I’ll jinx it by writing it in plain sight. There haven’t been too many times I’ve felt this content in my life. Don’t get me wrong, my life isn’t that perfect; far from it as a matter of fact. When you look at my life with natural eyes, you would think, ‘with all that is a physical issue (finances, health etc) how can you possibly be content?’ It’s so difficult to answer that question.
I know that at this time I understand my Lord more than ever- realizing the second I type that, I am still so very far from really knowing Him the way I want. The peace and joy I live in has never been stronger. He is more amazing to me everyday, and in His presence- well, there is just no better place to be. Living life with Him is the greatest freedom I have ever experienced. I am truly content in Him.
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Php.
But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. 1Tim. 6:6-8
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Heb. 13:5
And yet there is one thing of which I am never satisfied. There is a part of me that cries out to know my Love, my Lord, my Life, my Breath all the more. It is like I am always grasping for yet never attaining the complete understanding of Him, and life with Him, which I desire. I want more of Him in my life. I want to be more like Him in my life. I have this never ending hunger to understand fully who He is and to be as close as humanly possible, completely living in the Spirit while doing His will here on earth. Total surrender. I hope it’s possible, because it’s what I’m aiming for. Meanwhile, I plan on enjoying where I am in Him right now.
For today, I think I’ll behave myself a little more by eating much healthier J
…maybe…