It was earlier this morning and I had my
list of things to do. There were a jillion things that I had to get done. So, I
prioritized, and worried a bit about what I could actually achieve as opposed
to what I wished I could achieve. I wished I had more energy to accomplish more,
that there was less to do in the house, that I could do more for hubby who has
been really great since I got hurt, that I could do more to help more people,
pray more, clear up more jobs around the house…
You understand, especially if you’re a
woman. The mind hardly ever stops. There are always things to do. But I decided
to put all that aside this morning and talk with God. Cleaned up an area just a
bit so I’d have room to worship ‘Vicky’ style- one song and the Lord reminded
me to pay an important bill. That done, I sat down with Him and whoosh (no, not
peace) conviction hit me like a tidal wave. I was so busy prioritizing my plans, my tasks, my life…
I deeply felt the shame of my sin; the
years of waste, hours on games, puzzles, tv, all the while justifying it by
excuses. So after repenting of my
sin I asked what He wanted my
priorities to be. In my spirit I heard, “People are your priority; always
people.” And He gave me three specific names: one He told me to do something
for (weeks ago), one who I helped a few months ago but haven’t spent any time
with lately, and another He told me about a few days ago, all of whom I have neglected because of my list of priorities.
“I’ll get those things done after…”
His presence was strong and I felt His
love pouring into me, not for me, but for me to show others. There were names
of people flowing through my mind, ‘His priority’ that I need to show more love
to. Add a tiny chastisement about dealing with family. There I stayed until He
told me to go make that phone call about which I’d been procrastinating.
Really? What a way to spoil the moment! lol When I was done the call I thought,
hmmm, by allowing Him to direct me I was getting more done in a shorter time.
Interesting.
Failed to be directed by the Lord’s agenda
a few times since then because other issues cropped up… but I’m trying to do
better- catching myself sooner. Lord, please continue to have patience with me…
Thank You, for this peace that really does pass all understanding. (Php. 4:7)
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Not as
the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let
it be afraid. Jh. 14:27
As a footnote- I have been very impatient (for months now) with my Mom who is not remembering well at all, is getting confused and a
little paranoid. It usually takes less than 15 minutes before frustration comes
out in my tone. I was over there for about 3 hours in the evening and did not feel frustration
at all. In fact, she told stories, we laughed, and I actually enjoyed the conversation with
a new heart of love for her. This is a miracle to me. Wow, God! You are
awesome!!!