I’m
very proud of myself. I held it together
until that last hug before my son entered the bus, then I quickly turned and
the tears began to flow. Since I wanted
to wait until the bus left so that I could be sure nothing would immediately go
wrong, I went over to the van parked on the road and waited where I couldn’t be
seen. As the bus pulled away, the
sadness was deep. Tomorrow I will be
fine, but for today I am allowing myself to just be me. Phone calls are ignored and I am allowing the
Lord’s comfort in my day.
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, 2Cr. 1:3
Still, the experience was a big teaching lesson (as always). There were direct words on my part that
weren’t accepted well by Nate as he made excuses for himself- but that won’t
work when he’s on his own if he is going to do well. Then at the terminal he sat unaware of (or
ignoring) my emotional struggle with his ear plug in listening to music, not
even trying to talk (though talking isn’t his thing…) I wished, just for once, conversation would
not be awkward. As he left me to get on
the bus, he didn’t even say thanks for anything we’ve done, like taking care of
him or helping with the move, etc. He
just walked away. Of course, I don’t really know where his mind was…
We’re a lot like that as Christians imo.
We don’t really accept God’s direct words to us especially if they are
negative. We’d rather make excuses for
our behaviour as if that justifies our actions.
Nope. It doesn’t but we still
try. “Really, it wasn’t our fault!”
He who covers his
sins shall not be blessed; but whoever confesses and leaves them shall have mercy. Pr. 28:13
As
well, we often ignore the Lord or are unaware of what He really wants of
us. Sometimes we wonder why He would
ever want to spend time with us. Often
we allow life and distractions to tune us out to God’s voice, or even
communication with Him. Maybe it just
seems easier or less work. Perhaps we
are too tired to try… Who knows but
God? All I know is that the Lord is very
patient with us and does not turn away from us when we childishly remain silent
as He desires to communicate with us.
Seek Jehovah while
He may be found; call on Him while He is near. Is. 55:6
Jehovah is near all those who call on Him, all those who
call on Him in truth. Ps. 145:18
Then there is the matter of lack of gratitude. We’re not like that at all, are we? Yes, that was said tongue in cheek for all of
us know the vain repetitions that flow from our mouths more than genuine,
heartfelt words. Just consider ‘grace’
said at mealtime. We often hear the same
words repeated over and over, often carelessly.
Is God pleased with such prayers?
Lately I have been trying to pause and be silent, putting my mind and
heart on the Lord- before the words are spoken.
And I find a decided lack of verbal gratitude for all He has done, is
doing, and will do in my life. Enough
lessons for the day. I must go sleep…
always giving
thanks for all things to God the Father
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Ep. 5:20
In everything give
thanks, for this is the will of God in
Christ Jesus concerning you. 1Th. 5:18
Lord, thank You for being the best, most loving
Father of all,
and
for always being here for me!