Wednesday night I was walking quietly upstairs in the dark so as not to wake up my kids when I slammed into an open desk drawer that reached knee height. The pain was intense and instantly anger arose in my heart at the thoughtlessness of my child. In my anger I slammed the drawer back into the desk knowing/ hoping it would wake the guilty party up and they would feel bad. Instead of dealing with the anger in timely fashion, I allowed it to remain in my heart not considering the consequences.
That night it took a long while to get to sleep, with the pain hindering movement and position and anger continuing to fester. All the negative things that had been happening recently returned to memory and increased my misery. Still awake I seriously considered giving in to the temptation that had been haunting me lately that by leaning on the Lord’s strength I had so far avoided. Could it be any worse I wondered? -with anger rolling out toward my Lord.
Do not be hasty in your spirit to be angry; for anger rests in the bosom of fools. Ec. 7:9
…Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath, Eph. 4:26
When I awoke Thursday morning, tired from a restless sleep, the pain was still there so I couldn’t run which didn’t improve my mood any. Ignoring the Lord I went about my day helping my mom out but not accomplishing the tasks I needed to do at home. Resentment continued to build and mix about inside of me with the anger that remained. Altogether it was later in the evening when the pain finally disappeared and I realized how miserable my inaction to deal with the anger had allowed me to become.
(I’m a little slow sometimes J )
But now also put off all these things: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, shameful speech out of your mouth. Col.
For the wrath of man does not work out the righteousness of God. Jm. 1:20
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret yourself to do evil. Ps. 37:8
Did you ever notice how the Word of God tends not to change us if we don’t apply it to our lives? I neglected to deal with the anger quickly after it happened and it caused me to feel wretched longer than I should have been. Instead of going to the Lord, confessing my sin, putting off/ forsaking the anger, forgiving my child, overall getting in God’s presence to deal with the problem and maybe even pray for healing, I allowed the enemy to use me against myself. That anger could have led to further sin which would have caused shame and depression.
In Proverbs it speaks about angry ways becoming a snare to your soul (Pr. 22:24,25) and increasing sin (Pr. 29:22). If we hang on to anger instead of dealing with it quickly it will begin to reside in our hearts which may lead to further sin and increased distance between the Lord and us. That is no way to live, certainly no way to live victoriously (1Cor. 15:57) or abundantly (Jh. 10:10) as the Lord desires us to live. In the end it is a choice each of us makes on our own.
Will anger reside in MY heart?