Trying Too Hard

       This morning I had a medical test that needed to be done.  The nurse told me I had to close my eyes, relax, and think of nothing for about ten minutes.  I’m thinking, ‘ya, whatever’ realizing that when someone tells you to relax and think of nothing is exactly when you can’t stop thinking: am I relaxed now, maybe I should listen to the sound of that noise, is it almost time for her to come back, I’m sure there’s light getting through, wait- relax, will any of this thinking ruin the results, this is impossible- I can’t just shut my brain down, ok- what do I do when I’m trying to fall asleep…

        Needless to say, I was trying very hard to do what the nurse said and in the process of doing that, I was failing to succeed.  At one point I heard the Lord say something like, “you’re trying too hard.  You do that a lot with everything.”  He’s right of course.

-I try so hard to cook tasty food like hubby and that failure used to cause depression.

-I try so hard to be a good parent that I forget to have joy in my children.

-I try so hard to worship Him ‘just so’, that sometimes it blocks out the Spirit from working.

-I try so hard to honour God in these posts that I don’t relax while writing them.

-I try so hard to make all my creations perfect then get disappointed when they aren’t.

-I try so hard to say and do all the right (according to God) things that I neglect to live in and enjoy the moment.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Jh. 10:10

       My whole life is a lot of effort trying hard to do everything, and I’m not saying trying and effort is all bad, but that trying so hard all the time can interfere with the enjoyment of life or a relationship.  Sometimes our own efforts can get in the way of God’s plans.  We should certainly enjoy our journey, but in honesty, how many Christians can we say do that?

Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot.  Ec. 5:18 ESV

A cheerful heart is a good medicine… Pr. 17:22 ASV

…God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;  1Tm. 6:17

       This is a very personal matter, and I’m not sure how many other people might struggle with this issue, though I am certain not all.  In my case, all the intense effort is occasionally blocking the moving of the Spirit- which is a bad thing.  Paul reminds us that it is up to God what He does and doesn’t do based on His own reasons, not on how often we pray, do right, go to church, worship, etc.  “Therefore, God's choice does not depend on a person's will or effort, but on God himself, who shows mercy.” (Rom. 9:16 ISV)  We do need to make efforts, but ultimately remember God knows best, relax a little and allow God to move in our lives simply because He wants to.