I had no idea when I got into the boat to get to the other side of the lake that anything extraordinary would happen. In fact, I never really considered the repercussions of that decision at all. A little bit off the land, the wind picked up and I wasn’t concerned at all because the boat was sturdy enough that I still felt safe. After a time, and in deeper water, the waves were getting higher because of the wind, but I was still secure in the strength of the boat and its history for safe delivery.
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Christ on the
Eugene Delacroix
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The windstorm picked up, and the waves began to beat the boat and flood the deck, and I no longer felt secure or safe in the sturdiness of my transportation. Perhaps I wouldn’t make it to the other side like I expected to. Perhaps I would be wounded… and for certain I was powerless to ensure I would get there unharmed. So many thoughts went through my mind, and the storm was so great that I couldn’t focus on anything else anymore. Instead, I was consumed by fear, “What if…”
Then my thoughts turned to the One who promised me if I got in the boat, He would be with me on the whole journey. “God, don’t You see what I am going through? Don’t You care that I am afraid. Don’t You care that I am dying here? You said You’d never leave me. Where are You?”… “Wake up!!!”*
On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.” … And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?”
Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, “Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!” Mark 4:35-41 NKJV
Though I started this post with an allegory the truth of the story remains. I was naïve enough to not consider the consequences of my choice to follow Christ. When the first major storm/ trial in my life hit, I was totally unprepared for it and responded poorly. Though I called on God, He seemed to not answer and eventually I began to believe He did not care- just like the disciples. Eventually, I did get through that storm, and I realized that not only had He been with me the whole time, but because I didn’t trust Him completely, I had suffered more than I needed to.
You would think I had learned my lesson, but the truth is that I went through many more trials with the same response before I finally learned- and was certain- of a few things:
God always cares. ‘He cares for you’ 1Pt. 5:7 (my translations here)
I am never in the boat (life) alone. ‘I will never leave you or forsake you’ Heb. 13:5
He is with me through everything, whether I feel Him there or not. ‘I will be with you’ Is. 43:2
Only He is able to calm the storms in my life. ‘able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think’ Eph. 3:20
I do not need to fear, for He is near, all the way to the other side. ‘Fear not for I am with you!’ Is. 41:10
*This post is an allegory for how I began my new journey with Christ.