I had not slept very well. My conscience was bothering me, so I went for an early morning walk in the city square. Once there, I looked through the booths offering various wares, treasures and food. I handed over a bit of money for some sweet bread, and continued walking in the cool of the morning. Oh, what had I done? It felt so good last night, but I knew it was so wrong. Too late; what was done can not be undone…
Perhaps I should go pray; perhaps Jehovah would not strike me dead if I went to speak to Him in His holy place. Maybe I could find a way out of this mess I have gotten myself into. As I get closer to the Temple
Shame and guilt for what I’ve done consume my mind. I enter into the courtyard close to the wall to hide myself from the others whom I feel must know what I’ve become. I watch as a young rabbi writes lessons in the dirt to teach those who have gathered about him, listening intently.
Soon after I see the man teaching, a commotion begins outside the yard. What has happened this early in the day? As I watch, a young woman is pulled through the crowds by an angry mob. She is a mess; tears mixed with dirt and grime streak her face. Her hair is tangled and her clothing is filthy from being half dragged through the city.
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| Vasily Polenoy, 1888 |
For a brief moment she looks straight at me and I see my shame and guilt mirrored in her face; she is so afraid. I think, “What about me?” My heart aches for her; the only difference between us is that she was caught, while I was not! Some of the crowd that brought her spit near her feet, others call her terrible names, but they all look at her with loathing as a thing despised. They tell the rabbi that she was caught in adultery and ask him what should be done.
As she hides her face in shame, the yet unspoken words I expect to hear are already ringing in my ears… stone her. That is what has been taught and followed since the days of Moses. But instead of answering the angry mob, the rabbi ignores them and continues writing. What is he doing? As the woman stares down in shame and her hands tremble in fear, the mob continues to ask what should be done. The teacher will surely condemn her making my guilt complete, and I will watch her die for what we both have done.
Finally, the rabbi stands up and says an unexpected thing, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” and stoops down to write again. What does that mean, I’m so confused… she is just a woman, yet he condemns her not. One by one the angry mob departs leaving the woman standing alone. No one has condemned her because the teacher has used wisdom to show them their own sinfulness. Who is this man?
With compassion and love the rabbi stands to speak to the woman, tells her he does not condemn her and she should go and sin no more. Tears of relief fall down her face, and she leaves quickly before anything else goes wrong. As for me, I stay to listen to the rabbi’s teaching. He has shown me that I do not have to continue in sin. Forgiveness and a new start can be mine. Perhaps one day I will ask him,
“What about me?”
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We can all ask, “What about me?” for we are all sinners (1). We all fail time and again (2). Our sin, shame and guilt weigh us down (3) so we are in bondage and slaves to our sin (4,8). But there is One who does not condemn us (5). In fact, He willingly gave up His life (6) to save us (7) and set us free of our bondage (8). Despite our sin, Jesus looks at us with love and compassion, and reminds us we don’t have to continue in sin for He is the way of life (9). "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1John 1:9) We can find forgiveness in Him,
Lord God, thank You that despite all my sins and failures, You still love me, do not condemn me, but show me I can start anew once again.
Story based on John 8:1-11
1- Rom. 4- Acts 7- Luke
2- Pr. 24:16 5- John 8- John -36
3- Heb. 12:1 6- John ,18 9- John 14:6