What do
I know of pain, I’m only 47… right? It’s
funny how some people attribute problems to age, especially doctors, “Well, you
are getting older, you know…” Age seems
to give them an excuse to not delve deeper into the real problems we have. When I was very young it seemed that most of
the people suffering physical issues were over 65 whereas these days there are
many in their 30’s and 40’s living in pain every day. Forgetfulness is also plaguing the younger
generation. Where is the research into
these problems?
One
thing is sure, I know pain. There were
times in my first 18 years that I got migraines. It would hurt so bad (pills didn’t help much)
that I would cry which would make it hurt worse! Fortunately they were few and far
between. In my 20’s plus I would
occasionally have abscesses in my mouth- indicating the need for a root
canal. These were extremely painful;
barely survivable with strong painkillers.
During these episodes, the pains of my past seemed like nothing, like
zero on the pain scale and this new pain was a 10. Though I was sure (but never had experience)
abscess pain was worse than childbirth, it took my neighbor and one other
person to confirm this belief.
Then in 2007
the doctors told me the second round of chemo could cause bone pain and I
thought ‘Whatever. I’ve had pain from
abscesses, how much worse can it get?’
Well, I was soon to find out.
That abscess pain dropped to a 0 in comparison as I learned new realms
of pain- so bad that nothing helped-
in my whole body all the time. By the
last treatment I was in so much pain (12 out of 10) I couldn’t do anything
(sit, stand, lean, etc) for longer than a minute. There is no way to truly describe such
horrible pain. Thankfully, most of it
disappeared within three weeks of my last treatment (pain in feet lasted 6
mon.), and life without pain became the norm again.
The past
few years have brought a return of pain.
This year’s been the worst, though because of the previous bone pain, I would only put the levels at 3 out of
10. Every day, from base of skull to
bottoms of feet with the occasional extra issues thrown in, the pain is just
there.
I pray
and there is no healing. Does God hear
me? Of course (Ps. 30:2). Does He know what I am going through? Yes (Is. 53).
Then why doesn’t He heal me when He is perfectly able to do so (Ps.
103:3)? I DON’T KNOW. And it doesn’t matter anymore if I understand
or not. The Lord is allowing it in my
life and walking with me through it, so all is well, not with my body but with
my soul.
I know that God will heal me, if not in this life, in
the end.
…I am Jehovah
who heals you. Ex. 15:26
And God will wipe away all tears from their eyes. And
there will be no more death, nor mourning, nor crying out, nor will there be
any more pain; for the first things passed away. Rv. 21:4
I know that God is with me every painful step.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you… Is. 43:2
…He has said, "Not at all will I leave you, not
at all will I forsake you, never!" Hb. 13:5
I know that by His strength I can get through another
day, and still have His peace and joy.
He gives power
to the weary; and to him with no vigor; He increases strength. Is. 40:29
No temptation (affliction) has taken you but what is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted
(tested) above what you are able, but with the temptation also will make a way
to escape, so that you may be able to bear it.
1Cr. 10:13
I know that His love for me will never change or
disappear.
For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor
angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us
from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rm. 8:38,39
I know
that I can still do great things for Him if I am willing (Is. 1:19 ) no matter what state I am in. It is not through my might or my power, but
through God and His Spirit (Zc. 4:6) that I can still fulfill His plan for my
life, and that He gives me the strength to continue every step, every day (Php.
4:13). He is why I have peace (Jh. 14:27 ) in the pain. And pain or no pain (preferably the latter) I
will let my actions bring Him glory as much as possible for I am eternally
grateful for His salvation.
And everything, whatever you do
in word or deed,
do
all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God and the Father by
Him.
Cl. 3:17
…whatever you do, do all to the
glory of God.
1Cr. 10: 31