Lately it
feels like I’m a baby again, having to take little baby steps of faith. I do not really like it because what I really
want to do is run- far and fast. Get ‘er
done. Instead, I am learning how to walk
by faith in a different way then I’m used to.
Of course, I know it’s the right thing to do as my actions still expose
my spiritual immaturity to me. If I were
to run, I’d be falling all over, unable to see clearly the direction to go,
wasting time, not discerning God’s will properly… In other words, I’d make a big mess of things
because I’m too impatient to wait.
And God is
right to make me wait. Rather than do
what I knew I should today, I wasted a few hours on a computer game that in the
end got me nowhere in the kingdom of God
My behaviour
makes me think God chose the wrong person, but then I remember He doesn’t make
mistakes. I’m trying to keep in mind
this is all training ground- me learning to walk in a new way of faith a little
at a time, like I’ve never walked before.
It’s kind of scary ‘cause I don’t want to fall down and hurt myself,
physically, mentally or embarrassingly.
And it’s also a little scary when you don’t see everything ahead of
you. It’s probably because I’d run if I
did.
I mean, if I
had seen the horrible trials I would endure ahead of time, I would have run
hard and fast the opposite way, yet in the end I am extremely grateful the Lord
allowed me to go through them because they changed me, strengthened me, helped
my understand the Lord, myself and the world more. So here I am in this wonderful place with the
Creator of the Universe, amazed everyday at how life has become so
exciting. Each day I wake up wondering
what great things He has in store for me today.
It is late
and I need to go to bed. Here's the rest of my thoughts.
But the God of all grace, He calling us to His
eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a little, He will perfect, confirm, strengthen, and
establish you. 1Pt. 5:10
And not only this,
but we glory in afflictions also, knowing that afflictions work out patience,
and patience works out experience, and
experience works out hope. Rm. 5:3,4
Thank You Lord for each and every experience You gave me
in the past and the ones I am in now.
(For we walk
by faith, not by sight:) 2Cr. 5:7 –faith in God and His Word, not by what we
see.
Help me to trust You more completely so that I may do Your
will as often as humanly possible without running ahead of You. Thank You for continuing to work with me and
for Your great patience with me. Keep
teaching me the things I need to know to do the work You have called me to do.
You are AWESOME God!