Brokenhearted

       My heart is broken as it lies in my Father’s hands.  Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs we will ever do.  Many children break their parent’s hearts at one time or another and I guess it is my turn- again.  It is painful to have to make tough decisions that force an adult child to confront reality.  It hurts to be accused of things that are untrue and blamed for things that aren’t your fault.  It is agonizing to watch a child go down a treacherous path headed for pain and destruction all while shutting you out.

Go in through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many there are who go in through it. Mt. 7:13

(For many are walking, of whom I have told you often and now tell you even weeping, as the enemies of the cross of Christ; whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, those who mind earthly things.) Php. 3:18,19

       The way seems easy, the path seems the way to freedom, but it is the path of slavery and unfortunately one in which we, as parents, have no control.  Often, our children do not listen to us, believing that our knowledge is no longer relevant to their lives- thus opening themselves up to slavery of the world, being caught up in its lusts and desires.  They want full control over their lives yet don’t realize they are submitting that same control to the enemy that wants to destroy them.

The thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy... Jh. 10:10

Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him, because all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever. 1Jh. 2:15-17

       So I stand on the sidelines watching my child continue to make poor, life altering choices, hearing the accusations, shrugging off the blame, while I trust my kids are in God’s hands, and pray, pray, pray, repeat.  When it hurts I fall into the arms of grace of my God knowing He is with me.  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned; nor shall the flame kindle on you.” (Is. 43:2)  His promises will never fail (Ps. 89:34).

       Lord, I am very sorry for all the accusations I levied at You over the years, the feelings that You weren’t after my good, the blame that all the bad in my life was Your fault and most of all for shutting You out.  Thank You for being patient with me and sticking around.  Thank You for helping me understand that by keeping full control of my own life I was submitting myself to the control of the enemy and going into his slavery.  Thank You very much for the true freedom I have in You when I yoke myself with You.  I’m sorry for all the wrong that I’ve done as Your child.  Please forgive me.

I have set Jehovah always before Me; because He is at My right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore My heart is glad, and My glory rejoices; My flesh also shall rest in hope; Ps. 16:8,9