Last night I was thinking about being a parent. For myself, I find that in my thoughts often. In this case, I was thinking about how good it feels when my teens sit with me- without their finger extensions in their hands (cell/ ipod) and we talk- about them, their lives, life in general, hopes, dreams, accomplishments… Of course, I know most of it anyway due to hearing secondhand conversations and seeing their lives played out near me, but it doesn’t matter. I like to hear it from their lips, from their perspectives, freely and willingly shared with me. It also brings joy to my heart when I can share my life with them as well. That two way communication is very dear to me and I miss it when I don’t get it.
Of course there have been many times when I tried to force information out, or times when I made the kids sit down to talk, but those times were never very good. It was like pulling teeth to get them to share and they certainly didn’t listen to me those times. Eventually I realized that they had to: want to come, actually come and sit with me, and freely open up their lives. There are times when we are together I know they are holding back something important, but now I just listen patiently instead of trying to force it out. I guess I’m learning that child/ parent relationships have to be made freely, sharing must be without coercion or it will not foster intimacy.
I want them to openly share their lives with me, to spend time with me because they want to not because I forced the issue. That time they do give me has become very precious, especially these days with such hectic lives. I cherish every moment.
I’m sure Abba, Father feels the same way with us.