(please read part 1 for better understanding)
So, how does my perfectionism translate into fear? First off, it becomes a fear of imperfection or of my being imperfect. (Strange, isn’t it, because I know no one can really be perfect!) Just like the way I spent a long time making sure each piece of pepperoni, ham, mushroom, red and green pepper, and onion were perfectly spaced symmetrically on my pizza- after I had perfectly spread the cheese on top of the perfect amount of sauce.
This desire for perfection (and fear of imperfection) causes me to hold back on trying some things while being unsatisfied with my attempts at others. As to my Christian walk, sometimes I hold back saying and doing things the Lord wants me to because I don’t want to do anything the least bit incorrectly, or be wrong (imperfect) even in a small part. So it becomes a battle in my mind.
Secondly, there is a fear of speaking or acting out of God’s will (another state of imperfection). If God tells me something, in that moment I am sure I am hearing Him. Later, when I am supposed to (or want to) tell someone else, I become insecure and usually end up keeping my mouth shut. Better (in my mind) to say nothing than to say the wrong thing.
How many people have missed blessings from God because of my irrational fear of being imperfect? We are human, and therefore imperfect! One of the battles in my mind right now is knowing what God has planned for my future, but not really acknowledging it because then it becomes real, and I have to face that I won’t be perfect in the role He has set out before me, and that brings out the fear. On Sunday I was reminded that fear is not from God, for He has not given us a spirit of fear (2Tm. 1:7), and that if you have fear, there is a battle going on in your mind, and it is not a fleshly battle, but a spiritual one.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Eph. 6:12
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2Cor. 10:3-5
This spiritual war will be won or lost in your mind. What are “strongholds?” A strong hold is anything that has a strong hold on your body- or on your mind. Depression, insecurity, shame, feeling unwanted, unloved, unworthy, and let’s not forget fear: these can all be strongholds in our minds. And if we are to serve God, He wants us to be free to do so (Jh. 8:32 ,36).
We need to cast out these thoughts (like fear) that shouldn’t be in our minds, each and every time they come up. Let’s not be nice about it either, but like enemy soldiers we get them out forcefully- not in our own strength, but the power of God and in the name of Jesus. “…without me ye can do nothing.” (Jh. 15:5) As Christians, we now reside in the kingdom of Jesus
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through the one who loved us. Rom. 8:37 ISV
…greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 1Jh. 4:4
…but with God all things are possible. Mt. 19:26
At least 59 times the Lord God (or through his servants) said to us “fear not”. Thinking on the perfect pizza analogy, I know He is saying that to me, and I have heard, so now I must act on it. How will I do that? One step at a time, one ousting of those thoughts at a time. The Lord is my strength and will help me, for I am a conqueror only through what He has done!
He is with me. He is with you.
You drew near on the day I called on You, And said, “Do not fear!”
Lam. 3:57
Where to keep our minds:
Keep your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth. Col. 3:2 ISV
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Php. 4:8