If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that I see things in pictures or picture things and draw parallels. This post is a very personal story, one that may be difficult to get through, but I will do my best. There I was, on the floor once again in the Lord’s presence and I heard Him say, “It’s time to bring it out.” “Bring what out?” I asked innocently, but deep down in my gut I knew- I just didn’t want to admit to its existence.
The rest of the conversation went something like this: “It’s time.” “No it’s not” “I know it’s in there.” “I know you know, but I don’t want to bring it out.” “You need to bring it out Vicky.” “I don’t want to bring it out because it will be too painful. I can’t. Please don’t make me.” “Vicky, I want to heal you. Trust me.” I could feel His love. “Okay…” I whispered apprehensively.
It was one of the most difficult things I’ve done lately. Though I’d worked through the majority of each of my trials over the years, I had kept a small remnant of ‘junk’ from each inside of me. I reached deep down inside myself and pulled out the ugly little black box that I’d hidden there years ago. It was buried deep where it couldn’t be found by anyone as it held dark parts of my past that I never wanted to confront. Hidden in it were the last vestiges of my painful, angry, sorrowful, traumatic, shattering, grief-filled past, over many years; the ones that still contained some resentment towards the Lord I love for His lack of responding to my many prayers in the way I wanted.
Slowly the box was brought up and out, and I laid it down at my Savior’s feet… (1 Pet. 5:7) and I proceeded to fall apart. The pain was strong, I wept and groaned, but I felt safe in the Lord’s strength. When it was all over, it felt like a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders; (Mat. ) a weight I hadn’t realized was still there because I’d squished it all into that little box. But the box was no longer mine. It was given to my Savior for only He has the strength to carry my weights and sorrows. Only He is able to bring genuine freedom in my life. He loves me more than any other person does. (John 3:16)
They’re not there anymore, those niggling things that remained over the years. I am free to trust my Lord without that tiny voice saying, ‘maybe He won’t come through for you again.’ And though many times in the past I’d asked for forgiveness for the resentment I felt towards Him, it finally feels like that ‘slate’ has been wiped clean. It is a great feeling.
In sharing this story with you, my hope is that you will desire to bring the ‘hidden box’ in your life out so the Lord may heal you and you may experience true freedom in Him. I’m sure there’s still more to come for me, but I must take one step at a time. Consider if this is the time to deal with those ugly little things you keep hidden away. The Lord already knows they are there and He wants you to trust Him. He wants to carry your burdens for you. (Ps. 55:22) Imagine living life free from the bondages that so easily affect your life.
(Gal. 5:1)
Imagine the
FREEDOM !
Jesus quoted:
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; Is. 61:1; Luke 4:18