Ready for bed, she looked up to her Dad
with her bright smile and engaging eyes as she reached up for her big stuffed
bear sitting on the table. Trying to
help his 2+ yr old, Dad went to pick the over-sized bear up and give it to
her. Her eyes became resolute and she
cried out, “Me Do”. Dad smiled and said,
“Okay!” He watched her struggle to get
the bear down, and fall on her bum as it came down. She fell about five more times walking with
that big bear before she finally looked up tearful and said, “Daddy?” Daddy rescued his little girl and carried her
and her bear into the bedroom to go to sleep.
At the age of 8, she grabbed more toys
than she could handle to go downstairs into the rec. room with her friend to
play and Dad spoke up, “Do you want any help?”
“No, I can do it.” “You don’t
have to carry them all by yourself. I
can help.” She flashed her frustrated
eyes at him to say, ‘You should know better.
I can do this on my own’ and she continued to her destination dropping
toys, becoming more irritated every time she had to pick one up. She couldn’t see the stairs, missed a step
half way down, the toys flew all over and she fell down and twisted her ankle.
At 18 she was determined to take the
final load up to her dorm herself and she said her good-byes to her Dad. “Please hon, let me help, or at least let me
wait here while you bring a smaller load up.”
She looked at him with disdain, “Daaad!”
She hugged him, strapped her laptop backpack on her back, her purse
strung over one shoulder and a bag of clothes over the other, and she stooped
to pick up her two heavy suitcases. Dad
watched her waddle back and forth, struggling with each step as she went toward
the door, hoping and praying she’d make it safely up the three flights of
stairs.
This foolish, stubborn girl is me- only
it isn’t a literal story, but a symbolic one on how obstinate I’ve been in my
walk with the Lord. The other day I remembered
how often I tried to carry my own overwhelming stuff while subconsciously
saying, “I can do this!” I stumbled, fell, even getting hurt, yet resisted
asking the Lord for help. ‘He’s too busy
anyway, right?’ I thought. A decade
later I was still trying to carry all life’s issues on my own. If I juggled them just right I wouldn’t
stumble but things kept coming down and smashing at my feet.
Late in 2005 I was still carrying a
load, but it had become unbearable and I was buckling under the weight. “Why, why have you given me this load?” I
would cry out, “This is too much for me to bear!” My Father watched as I sank under the weight
by refusing to let go, but He kept whispering, “Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will
give you rest.” (Mt. 11:28) It wasn’t God’s fault I was carrying such a heavy
load, but mine. I kept trying to do it
on my own. ‘Me do!’ While my stubbornness has benefited my life
in certain ways, it has also nearly killed me (no exaggeration).
Eventually I realized my need to drop it
all at my Father’s feet (1Pt. 5:7) for Him to carry because He has the
strongest, biggest shoulders for it all.
“For he will deliver the needy when they cry out for help…” (Ps.
72:12) There is great freedom in relying
on the Lord to carry our burdens and weights in this life. I learned that if I put my trust in Him to
carry me AND my burdens, and stop trying to do it on my own, my journey is easier to walk (Pr. 3:5,6) and instead of buckling under the weight, His
strength holds me up and His peace and joy remain in me (Is. 26:3; Php
4:6,7).
It’s okay now Dad… You Do!
Cast on the
LORD whatever he sends your way, and he will sustain you.
He will
never allow the righteous to be shaken.
Ps. 55:22 (all ISV)
Even until your old
age, I am the one, and I'll carry you even until your gray hairs come. It is I
who have created, and I who will carry, and it is I who will bear and save.
Is. 46:4
Blessed be
the Lord who daily carries us. God is our deliverer.
Ps. 68:19