He lay uncomfortably in the hospital bed, his breathing shallow, and his face weary with a mix of fatigue and inability to sleep as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Even in the low lights I could tell his face was unusually pale; in 22 years the only other times I’d seen him this bad were in extreme sleep deprivation (new baby in the house) and just before he was diagnosed with diabetes. This wasn’t my husband. This wasn’t the man I married.
A distant memory flashed before my eyes. We were at a friend’s house helping him move so we loaded up Albert’s pick up truck with furniture and as we were about to leave, we noticed a flat back tire. Not wanting to unload the truck to fix it, and being minus a jack for assistance, they got the tire ready to remove and the new one ready to go on when my strong but crazy fiancé laid down under the truck bed and pushed it up in the air long enough for his friend to exchange the tires. Up until that point I never realized just how strong Albert was. I looked back at all the tubes and wires and wondered if he would ever be better again.
It was such a feeling of helplessness to sit there and watch him struggle to breathe and there was NOTHING I could do to fix it. I couldn’t help him to breathe deeper, or undo the damage in his heart; I couldn’t make his heart beat properly or even help him sleep. So I just sat there feeling powerless… praying. What else was there to do?
Life causes these situations all the time with parents, spouses, siblings and worst of all our children who are suppose to outlive us. There are immediate health concerns, and then there are progressive diseases just so we can watch our loved one’s suffering increase over time. Sometimes it’s not their physical health, but their emotional, mental, or spiritual health that suffers a setback: past hurts, loss, addictions, abuse, disaster, heartbreak, becoming a victim of crime, job loss, and on and on.
We can try to bring comfort, even try to assist with circumstances, but for the most part we are unable to mend the ‘broken’ person. Some wounds go too deep, and we are only mortal men with limited capabilities. So, what do you do as you watch your loved one suffer… besides pray?
Jump into your Father’s lap and hang on- tight. He understands sorrow*. Imagine watching over six billion of your loved ones suffering. He understands loss as He had to allow Jesus to ‘leave home’ and come to us as a man; then He had to watch Jesus unjustly suffer in agony of body and soul for our sins. He understands grief* of permanent loss as many die without accepting His salvation. The Father can bring comfort in times of trouble**, so when we are powerless, His presence can help us through.
*Is. 53:4b- Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; NKJV
Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, NIV
Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. NLT
**2 Corinthians 1:3,4- Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. NKJV
Nahum 1:7- The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, NIV