My head was bent over the fall leaves as I stared underneath the van.‘Okay, I’m ready’ I said to my husband who proceeded to press the brakes.Liquid sprayed out of the metal brake line as if it was a large spray bottle, and I knew the van couldn’t be moved.At least God had protected the kids and me as we had just got home ten minutes before without any noticeable brake problems.My hubby found the problem minutes later while moving the van.
It’s just a small hole, really, yet it causes an enormous problem.A lack of fluid pressure to the brakes means you can’t stop the vehicle, which means you can’t drive that vehicle for obvious safety reasons.The hole has got to be fixed.You might think you can take a chance on driving it by topping up the brake fluid every few miles, but it is far too dangerous for you and the other drivers.Basically, that small hole immobilizes the van’s movement.
It is kind of like an offense.Most of the time the offense is just one ‘small’ matter, yet left un-repaired, the hole is likely to spread.Meanwhile any new pressure put on the offended person causes bitterness or anger to spew out on self and others.(You can’t move forward in the Lord until the offense is dealt with otherwise it will fester and infect you, eventually devastating your spiritual life.)And so the vehicle must be fixed before it can be safely driven again.
What do you do when you’ve been offended- and offense is a personal matter.What offends one person won’t necessarily offend another.(The next part is for the person who is not easily offended for if that is the case, you are in need of spiritual help/ guidance.)Ask yourself if love can overlook it or forbear it* and if so forgive the person**.If you continue to think about it or it just really bothers you, then you must do what the Word says and deal with it, in love.Mat. 18:15+ if a brother errs or offends then:
-tell him about the offense one on one.Hopefully there will be a resolution.
-if he doesn’t not hear/ understand take a couple people to witness the next interaction.
Might I just add the witnesses should be of godly, honest character who can keep confidence.
-if he mishears or disobeys them, then bring it to the church (leadership).
We are not meant to hang on to offenses.We can’t live abundant lives with bitterness and anger- for any reason.It needs to get dealt with quickly so our ‘vehicle’ or spiritual walk can get moving forward again.Be angry (provoked or exasperated) but don’t sin, ‘let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil. (Eph ,27 ASV)Life is too short to live with regrets.
*above all things being fervent in your love among yourselves; for love covereth a multitude of sins:1Pet. 4:8
with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;Eph. 4:2ASV
**Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.
Eph. ASV
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.Mark 11:25KJV
But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.Mark KJV
You can spend your entire life married to the same person.In fact, there’s a couple I know who just celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary. (Yes, really 70 years!)That is a divine miracle in more than one way.We can look at them and wonder how they made it so long- they must really love each other or be really committed- but I’m sure there are many factors.
I’ve considered couples married from day one to over fifty years, and have determined length of marriage is no indicator of intimacy in marriage.You can stay with someone because you love them and yet not feel the intimacy that makes a quality marriage so strong and alive.It is a lack of intimacy that ultimately drives many couples apart.The word intimacy has several synonyms:familiarity, closeness, understanding, relationship, confidence.
Familiarity- knowledge learned or experienced life.This is often the easiest to achieve.
Closeness- nearness and contact.This usually improves over time- until children arrive.
Understanding- sympathetic, considerate, thoughtful, kind… We spend a lifetime doing this.
Relationship- connection, bond, tie, friendship with a person.Something always needing work on.
Confidence- assurance, trust, faith, expectation.Without at least some amounts of these a marriage
will not last.
Many of us work hard to improve our marriages by going to seminars, reading books, learning from friends and family, listening to teachers etc. and we should continue to work at it.If we want true intimacy in our marriages, we have to put some time and effort into it.But do we ever expend that much effort and time on improving our intimacy with God?
If you want intimacy with Him, you have to make effort towards that end.Or maybe you are content just to say you love Him without wanting or needing to be closer or more familiar to Him; without really knowing and feeling connected to Him; without full confidence in Him and expecting closeness to Him.It might be survivable to live that way, but it will never be the abundant living you desire.
These scriptures say to love (agapao) the Lord your God.
-with all (the whole of) your heart, soul, mind and strength
-walk in all his ways, serve him and to cleave (cling or adhere like glue) unto him;
(Deut. 11:13,22; 13:3; Josh. 22:5; ; Mark ; Luke 10:27; Matt. 22:37)
If you humble yourself and draw near to Him, He will draw near to you. (Jam. 4:8)